Today I have been wondering how to find and keep focus as an artist. How do I honour my work along side the needs of our day to day living? How do I keep developing my skills while accepting the current need to find outside employment? Most of my time this month has been devoted to the later, and it is tempting to dwell on how little has been created. I sometimes fear that I need to chose one or the other, and I lament over all that I don't seem to be creating. Discouragement sets in easily lately.
I've been so tired from taxes, job hunting and ultimately fear over provisions that any efforts toward art making seems tertiary at best. But voices of encouragement have been breaking in. Thank you friends and family who have noticed what I seem to forget. That somehow work has squeezed it's way in. There have been finished pieces, and there have been creative ideas and visioning for this vocation, and even small moments where trust replaces fear. They have been small moments, but little miracles a friend encouraged me. As a thousand years is like a day, and a day like a thousand years to God, these moments mean more than I have given them credit. Trusting for a minute is still trusting.
Artwork and life realities cannot be divorced from each other. My prayer is that I can see the art that squeezes it's way in (be it in or out of the studio), no matter how small.