This week I have been sinking into a sense of panic and rush to find employment or a solution to provide rest from our worsening financial burdens. While I value being active in this pursuit, it is easy to become frantic and tired and confused. What I desire is a calmer inner state of soul! I desire something like an underground river that refreshes a tree's roots regardless of what is going on around it. I understand that this nourishing river comes only from the source, who is God, but I am distracted with important concerns.
Today I was encouraged to find courage to seek familiarity with God and myself as I am, right now. I was encouraged to step into silence and solitude to allow myself to attend to my frayed inner state. It is easier to present to God and to myself how I think I should be or how the best version of myself would handle these situations. It is also easier keep busy and to strive, making impulsive solutions.
I believe it takes courage to honestly attend to our inner states. I believe it takes courage to attend to the presence, provision and love of God. It is hard to trust. It is easier to run headlong with eyes looking mainly at dangers or with eyes closed altogether.
Solitude and silence. Time to become reacquainted with God and myself. I believe this will plant me in the river that will sustain me today.